After Bereavement: Coping With Loss And Finding Support

The grief surrounding the death of a family membercry, it does not mean that you are not grieving
or loved one is one of the most difficult experienceseither. Often when we lose a loved one we cry,
for anyone to go through. It seems sometimes, thathowever it should be noted that there are many
the sadness will never lift and gladness fill your lifedifferent ways in which you may express your grief.
again. These are normal reactions to the loss of aThose who do not cry during the death of a loved
loved one and one should remember that in theone are not insensitive or unloving, they simply have
process of grieving these overwhelming andother ways of expressing their grief.
frightening feelings of loss are to be expected. WhileBereavement coping is different for everyone and
there is no one perfect way to grieve, there aremay include the five well documented stages of
ways to express your loss in ways that are moredenial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
healthy for you. Everyone grieves in a differentKnow that you may experience any or all of these
manner and bereavement coping is tool that is verysteps and that is normal. It is also natural for you to
important during the process.not experience these emotions in this particular order.
Grieving is a very personalized experience and thereOf course it is possible to cope with your loss
is no specific timetable on how long it will last in yourwithout experiencing any of these stages of grief. It
life. It takes time and will occur gradually. There willis a very individualized process and is not the same
be days in the beginning where you will think aboutfor everyone.
your loved one almost all of the time. Eventually thisGrief can sometimes be described as a roller coaster
will no longer be the case and you will be able toride. It is rougher and harder at the very beginning. It
focus on other things for longer periods withoutcomes complete with ups and downs, highs and lows.
being consumed with thoughts of your loss. While aSometimes these lows will last longer and be more
friend may have gotten over her grief in a matter ofintense than others. The hard times will grow less
weeks or months, yours could be a longer processdifficult to manage as the "ride" goes on and in the
and last years.end, you will have slow smoother ride into the
It is important to remember that trying to avoid yourstation. Lean on your friends and family for support
grief will only draw out the process. Ignoring yourduring these painful time and, when necessary, look
feelings will not make them disappear but will in factto them for mutual support. If you are religious, turn
make the grieving process more drawn out. Takingto your faith to help you in coping with your loss. If
steps in bereavement coping is essential to a healthyyou need extra help, join a support group. Most
healing process. One thing to remember is that cryingimportantly, take care of yourself as you are grieving.
does not make you weak. However, if you do notEat, sleep and exercise to keep your body strong.