| I was a wife and a mother in 1994 and at the age of | | | | wanted me to be 115lbs in order for them to release |
| 27 I never thought I had a eating disorder. Eating | | | | me. I also remember thinking "yeah right" |
| disorders were for teenagers-- not someone over | | | | Then we would go down and have breakfast. There |
| the age of twenty. But, I did. | | | | were men, women (even older than I was) and |
| I had gone to my family doctor for panic attacks for | | | | teenagers. Some were there for Anorexia, Bulimia |
| a long period of time and he prescribed me Xanax. | | | | and Compulsive eating. |
| Each time I had gone to him I would have to get | | | | Now that I look back the breakfast table was not a |
| weighed. I started out being 130 which was fine with | | | | pretty sight. The Anorexics and the bulimics didn't |
| me because I am 5' 5 1/2." | | | | want to eat but the Compulsive eaters were eating |
| By the time I reached 100lbs and addicted to Xanax I | | | | very fast like they could not get enough. After |
| was put into a hospital. I made one little mistake and | | | | breakfast we had to wait an hour after we ate to |
| that little mistake saved my life. My doctor asked me | | | | make sure our food digested and we were not |
| a question. A question I thought I had the right | | | | allowed in the bathroom for the fear of us vomiting. |
| answer to or thought that everyone felt like me. He | | | | So we would sit and talk. After that we were |
| asked me If I wanted to die, and I of course said | | | | assigned therapy for eight hours. There was art |
| "yes". Before I knew it I was being 302 into the | | | | therapy, music therapy, relaxation therapy, |
| hospital. (302 means that someone can commit you | | | | psycodrama, group therapy, family therapy, and one |
| into a hospital if they think you are a harm to | | | | on one therapy, plus in that time we had to eat lunch |
| yourself or to others). | | | | and dinner. I will tell you what,you really get to know |
| Before I knew it I was in a mental hospital and in the | | | | yourself when you have all this therapy for 5 days |
| eating disorder unit. They were telling me that I had | | | | straight. On the weekends we were allowed visitors |
| a eating disorder, and of course I was denying it the | | | | and there was no therapy. It was time for ourselves. |
| whole time. Doctors and nurses were coming in | | | | Some of us would sleep, write in journals, play |
| asking me questions taking my blood and I just | | | | games, do arts and crafts or just talk to others. It is |
| wanted to go home to my little girl she needed me. | | | | amazing how we all got into the hospital. Each |
| As much as I thought my daughter needed me she | | | | person's story was different in every way. It didn't |
| did not need a mother who was addicted to Xanax | | | | matter if we were Anorexic, Bulimic or Compulsive |
| and who is Anorexic. I owed it to her and my | | | | eating were there for the same reason we just had |
| husband to get better and get out. | | | | out own coping mechinism. |
| The first morning and every other morning after that | | | | I spent the whole summer of 1994 in the hospital In |
| we had to get weighed in our gowns. We would get | | | | that time I have learned more about myself and the |
| weighed backwards so we would not see the scale | | | | disease that I had. Yes, a disease. Just like alcoholism |
| go up. I remember the doctors telling me that they | | | | or diabetes. |