Art Therapy and Loss

When you lose someone you love deeply there areWe all know the Serenity Prayer "God, grant me the
lessons beyond what you could imagine. Some painfulserenity to accept the things I cannot change; the
and heartbreaking and some humbling and heartcourage to change the things I can;and the wisdom
opening. Every loss is an opportunity for growthto know the difference." There are many things
(within yourself and closer to others). No matter whobeyond your control when experiencing a loss and
you are you will experience loss in your life. A loss ofsurrendering to what you cannot control allows a
a grandparent, of a parent, a sibling, child, pet,centering back to yourself and what it is you truly
spouse, friend, or relative. Loss is inevitable andneed. Being still and focusing on the "here and now"
comes in so many forms- moving away from friendsallows you an opportunity to let go of what you
and family, loss of a significant relationship, divorce,can't control and soften to what you can.
loss of a job, changes in school, a loss of physical4. Support and love is the way through loss.
health, saying good-bye to someone traveling away,There is an opportunity to open your heart and be
or having an empty nest. Life continually is in a statevulnerable with those in your life during this process.
of change and loss is a part of the cycle.When you are honest and allow others to be there
So how can we live with grace and compassion andwith you on your healing journey you create deeper
open to these experiences when we encounter themrelationships. This has been the greatest gift in my
(rather than shutting down, hiding, denying, orexperience and I am grateful for all those who have
minimizing these most important moments)? I don'tlovingly offered support and understanding in this
have the answers, but I am in the process oftime of loss.
learning and this is what I've discovered.5. Find comfort in creating.
1. Allow yourself to be in the feelings.During some of the most difficult times in my life I
People are fearful that they will becomehave looked to art as a balm for my soul. Art allows
overwhelmed with emotions if they allow themselvesa soft resting place for grief. I've used the art to
to feel deeply. The truth is the more you ignore,honor those losses and those I have loved, as well
avoid, or try to push through these feelings the moreas a gift for myself to help heal and nourish my soul.
they will drain you and overwhelm you. EmbraceHere are some creative therapeutic activities you can
what it is you are feeling and what it is that youdo to help you through loss. Knit, sew, or create
need so you may gracefully move through thejewelry. These activities allow you to assert control
experience.over the materials, provides a mediative or prayerful
2. Give yourself time.experience of repetitious actions. Create a photo
There are stages of grief and loss and they do notcollage or scrapbook as a way of processing and
unfold overnight. Please be gentle and kind withhonoring memories. Create art from clay or cement
yourself and not to try to push though the processby embedding special items in the medium, or glue
quickly. When you honor your needs and giveitems on a box or candle representing your memories
yourself time to heal you will move forward with anand feelings.
open heart, knowing what is unfolding is in perfectI believe we not only need to learn from these
time.experience for ourselves, but also model this for our
3. Allow yourself to detach from trying to controlchildren and families.
circumstances and outcomes.