Betrayal of the Self

Ayurveda teaches us about the profound concept ofcomplete control, cutting us off from our true
integrity and compassion to ourselves, our family, theemotions, which know what is happening. Closed
world and the universe. One of the greatestfrom our hearts we will betray. Later when our ego
destroyers of integrity the the way in which wehas lost its grip, often when we are tired or
refuse to look at ourselves at the deepest level -someone is kind or generous to us, or we see
when we know that what we are doing is wrong.something beautiful, hear something that moves us,
The pain of betrayal hurts us profoundly and althoughits is then that our heart opens slightly and we get a
being betrayed by another is painful it is the betrayalglimpse of our act of betrayal.
to ourselves, which causes us the greatest harm.Often as quickly as we see it and feel it, we also
The pain of betrayal not only damages us physicallyclose it up again. Our feelings of betrayal in this
causing all types of disease on the body, much moreinstance is likely to be guilt and it becomes trapped
than physical symptoms it causes us to feel some ofinside us, quickly feelings are powerful, we all know
the most painful emotions possible often ones thatthis, this is the very reason we chose not to
are too painful for us to recognise. But feel them weexperience and feel them. We know they are
do. When we betray ourselves it begins a cycle ofpowerful, we know they hurt us and ironically it
continuing damage that accumulates over years.seems, we chose not to open ourselves, express our
Although betraying ourselves becomes easier as timeguilt, own up to betrayal, even to ourselves, it is then
goes on like any dishonesty does the damage tothat we damage our bodies and our minds truly
ourselves only increases.destructive act of self betrayal. Rather then face
There are large acts of betrayal which are oftenthese feelings of guilt, we will try to dilute them by
multiplied because not only do we betray ourselvesgiving ourselves reasons for our betrayal. Often
but are also betraying others. Being unfaithful in athese reasons come from outside ourselves, 'he
relationship is one of the most common and blinddidn't care about me', 'she never loved me', 'he's
acts of betrayal. It is usual for people who areboring', 'she got fat' and when these reasons have
unfaithful to say that they didn't feel any sense ofbeen fully explored in our minds we can relax for a
remorse at the time of the betrayal and it isn't untilwhile as our guilt subsides. What we forget is that
much later that the feelings arise. This is because ourthis is a double act of betrayal not only to the other
damaging ego at the time of the unfaithful act workspartner but also to ourselves. Betrayal to ourselves
incredibly hard to close our feelings down, our truebeing the greater of the two. Regardless of all the
feelings from our hearts, and it encourages us to feelvaried reason we chose to tell ourselves why we did
from our bodies and minds. Our hearts areit, the way we feel about ourselves is a direct link as
completely closed when we are in any type ofto how we betray ourselves.
betrayal large or small.Betrayal is a measure of a closed heart, because
If our hearts were open to any degree we would bebetrayal is cold, hard and unforgiving as is a closed
unable to betray ourselves and others. In these largeheart.
acts of betrayal it is essential for the ego to take