| Codependence is a term that has been used | | | | from others who do not understand why you put up |
| extensively to describe certain personality traits that | | | | with your partner's behavior. |
| are common to partners who choose relationships | | | | 3. You make excuses for your partner and if |
| with addicts. Similar traits can often be found in the | | | | possible, take responsibility for picking up the slack. |
| partners involved in other unbalanced relationships, | | | | You may the one to call in sick for your partner if he |
| such as emotionally or psychologically abusive | | | | or she was out drinking till all hours and is too hung |
| relationships. If you find yourself feeling angry, | | | | over to go to work. You may go so far as to cover |
| frustrated, ashamed, hurt, and with a desire to | | | | for your partner by fulfilling commitments he or she |
| control your partner's behavior in your relationship, | | | | fails to honor, rather than allowing your partner to |
| you may have a tendency toward codependent | | | | face the consequences of his or her own behavior. |
| thinking and behavior. Here are 5 signs you may have | | | | 4. You feel as if you cannot live without your |
| codependent traits: | | | | partner, and do whatever it takes to hold things |
| 1. You rationalize or minimize your partner's hurtful or | | | | together. This may mean dropping a conflict, or not |
| destructive behavior. You may think or say | | | | following through on ultimatums issues. The idea of |
| something like, "Well at least he or she doesn't | | | | going on alone is so frightening that you are almost |
| _____." While it is true that there may be worse | | | | willing to take anything over nothing at all. |
| situations than yours, it doesn't mean that what your | | | | 5. You conversely feel that your partner will not be |
| partner is doing is desirable or healthy. Think of it this | | | | able to function or go on without you. You take |
| way: You could get into a car accident and end up | | | | responsibility for their health, well being, and even life. |
| paralyzed, or you could get into one where you only | | | | You fear what he or she "might do" if left to his or |
| broke your legs and needed a couple of stitches. But | | | | her own devices, and feel you would not be able to |
| wouldn't it be preferable to simply get in to the car | | | | live with the guilt if something happened, and that it |
| and make it to your destination safely? | | | | would be your fault for leaving. It is more |
| 2. You hide your partner's bad behavior from others. | | | | comfortable for you to take on the role of caretaker |
| This may be motivated by both a desire to protect | | | | than to enjoy the equal give and take of a balanced |
| your partner's reputation, as well as conceal your | | | | relationship. |
| own shame and avoid the judgment that may come | | | | |