| You know everyday I learn something new about | | | | You got satan whispering about our addiction or |
| myself, about God about others and about the world | | | | coping behavior and then we pick up the bag and |
| I live in. Today was a fresh revelation about what | | | | begin to repeat those condemning words to |
| goes on in the life of an addict, the thought life that | | | | ourselves. If you keep getting snared it because of |
| is. I was watching Joseph Prince this morning and if | | | | this self condemnation. It goes something like...see I |
| you have never listened to him please go check him | | | | told you you couldn't stay clean, see you really are a |
| out. He always uses Greek translations in his | | | | piece of ______, see you really don't care about |
| teachings which are very helpful for me to better | | | | your family or see you really are like your dad, mom, |
| understand the God's word. So today the thing that | | | | etc said. Condemnation, condemnation, condemnation. |
| struck me out of his teachings was the word | | | | I typically call this hamster cage going off in your |
| condemnation. He talked a lot about, it isn't really so | | | | head, the committee meeting that you are not |
| much about what we do as much as it is what we | | | | invited to. |
| think about what we do (condemnation). And the | | | | This whole story reminds of my smoking cigarettes |
| light bulb went off! Addicts inherently feel bad about | | | | adventure. I started smoking when I was 11 years |
| themselves. It is this vicious cycle that they live in. | | | | old. I wanted to be included with this group of girls, |
| Most addicts that I work with are anxious 98% of | | | | they were cool and smoked so I said I did to. So the |
| the time, they typically aren't connected enough to | | | | battle begins between what I know to be right and |
| their body to realize that is what is going on but | | | | what I am doing. I have pages and pages in my diary |
| indeed it is typically anxiety that starts the ball rolling. | | | | from when I was a kid about smoking and was God |
| So they become anxious as a cat on a hot tin roof | | | | going to love me. I knew what I was doing was |
| so they begin to think, how can I calm myself. How | | | | wrong. So every time I smoked I would condemn |
| can I get the intensity that is going on in my body to | | | | myself and the anxiety cycle would crank up a notch. |
| come down a notch. They begin to think I can eat a | | | | I tried multiple times in my life to quit, only to go |
| ____, I can drink ____, I can swallow ______, I | | | | back to them each time feeling more and more |
| can snort _____, I can smoke _____, I can buy | | | | defeated. Then one day I was talking to one of the |
| ______, I can shoot ______, I can call ______, | | | | counselors at the treatment center where I worked. |
| the fill in the blank list is ad nauseam. The point is that | | | | He told me every time I lit a cigarette to thank God |
| we begin to look for something outside of ourselves | | | | he was removing the desire to smoke and I wasn't |
| to calm us down we call this self gratification. Don't | | | | going to have to do that much longer. Wow, really |
| be offended by this but it is similar to giving a baby a | | | | that is it. So I did it, every so slowly and sheepishly. |
| bottle or a pacifier. | | | | Just for the record it is hard to do what is in your |
| The addict already has a history of doing whatever | | | | mind as sinning and talk to God at the same time. |
| he fills in the blank with and it is most likely causing | | | | Like somehow if you are doing it and not |
| him problems. It is causing him problems because he | | | | acknowledging Him he won't see you. LIE! |
| believes in his gut that what he is doing is wrong or | | | | So with every cigarette and every drag I began to |
| worse he is wrong. So his anxiety is shooting through | | | | praise God and say "thank you God that you are |
| the roof and he is trying to get a lid on it all the while | | | | removing the desire to smoke cigarettes. Thank you |
| he is thinking about just how he is going to do that. | | | | that I am not going to have smoke much longer". |
| He is thinking about what he did the last time and it | | | | That was it. It took maybe six months but then one |
| worked, at least temporarily but he swore he wasn't | | | | day I woke up and I knew that was that day. That |
| going to do that again (condemnation). He doesn't like | | | | was sometime in February 1990 and I haven't |
| himself when he does that, he doesn't like what | | | | smoked since. It was still hard, I still had to go |
| happens when he does that, it hurts him or others | | | | through all the withdrawal issues and find an identity |
| when he does that (condemnation). But then the | | | | that did not include being a smoker but I have never |
| pressure gets so great he says "f" it and is gone | | | | returned. But I knew in my heart that I was no |
| back to what he swore he wouldn't do anymore. | | | | longer and smoker. |
| Condemnation, condemnation, condemnation. | | | | It hit me today in listening to Joseph Prince why that |
| I see it all the time in my work with addicts. They | | | | worked so well. I stopped condemning myself with |
| want to do different but this condemning voice has | | | | every cigarette. I started praising the God, the one |
| them before they know what to do. The whole | | | | with the true power to take away the cigarettes. As |
| cycle I described above can happen in a matter of | | | | it tells us in Ephesians 6:18 "pray in all occasions". |
| minutes or take months to manifest itself depending | | | | We are going to talk a lot more about this in the |
| on where they are in their walk with God or their | | | | blogs ahead. As I believe the reducing the anxiety is |
| recovery This brings me back to Joseph Prince and | | | | key to what is going on in every addicts life. Begin to |
| his topic today. So we all know about satan/devil but | | | | listen to how you are condemning yourself. John 3:17 |
| let's look at the Greek word for devil, it is diabolla (dia | | | | says... For God did not send His Son into the world to |
| - by means through) and (bolla - to throw, slander, | | | | condemn the world, but to save the world through |
| accusations). Satan gets us by throwing slander and | | | | him". If you are condemning yourself you are lining up |
| accusations at us. Romans 14:22...Blessed is the man | | | | with satan's plan for your life not God's. Soak in that |
| who does not condemn himself by what he | | | | and we will talk about it some more soon. Until next |
| approves. | | | | time... |
| It hit me like a ton of bricks this is where it happens. | | | | |