How to Survive a Loss

Our community has suffered a blow this week. Dr.loved one understands you're just human.
Albert O'Mahony, a revered Clarenville family doctor
for years, met an untimely death.Establish networks
Only a few weeks ago, I had seen him walk in ourCommunicate with your relatives as often as possible.
neighborhood with Donna. He then greeted us withThrough phone, e-mail, and chat, you're just a few
his signature broad grin and vibrant demeanor.seconds away from your long lost friends and
Not too long ago, he had just referred patients toacquaintances.
my clinic, patients who he cared for all his life,If possible, you may establish family reunions or
patients who respected him with all sincerity.gatherings to reestablish connection. And for those
Having lived in Clarenville most of his productive life,who can't come, give them a surprise visit. Friends
he has somehow inspired me and my wife, and otherand family can make your heart grow healthier.
physicians to stay in this nice community.Create family rituals that can help ease the pain.
I even pondered how a fine, promising physician hadPrayers with close friends and family members
lived here for 35 years when his options wereprovide a peaceful closure to a sudden loss, a solemn
endless. When he first arrived and established hiscommunication with the departed loved one, and a
practice here, the community was still undeveloped -spiritual link with the Heavenly Creator.
no paved roads, no malls, no traffic lights, no hospital,Another effective way to establish connection is to
no car dealership, no Creative World, Wal-Mart,help others. Through volunteering, you can be a part
McDonalds, and Tim's.of a thriving community of helpers and feel a sense
But I understand. He loved his patients, adored hisof belonging and purpose.
friends and medical colleagues, cherished Clarenville,
and declared this place a home for his loving, adorableInvolve in physical and recreational activities
family. Certainly, a wise choice for a man of hisInvolve in physical and recreational activities but
stature.obtain enough rest and nutrition. Keep yourself active
Now a thriving community outside St. John's,and stay fit. Eat balanced meal while you maintain an
Clarenville and adjacent areas are saddened by hisaverage of seven hours of sleep. As you know, a
sudden departure. For the past few days, I've seenhealthy body keeps emotional problems at bay.
many of his patients, friends, and colleagues mourn.Your hobbies can keep you away from the sad days
Many are still in shock, still asking questions, stillahead so keep on doing them. As well, maintain your
groping for answers and explanations.daily routine. Go to work, church, or social functions
But one thing for sure, he is meant to join thejust like before. Do your chores as vigorously as
Creator and His Kingdom - a rightful place for himbefore the loss.
after several years of dedicated service.But personalize your coping. Do what fits you rather
How are we going to cope?than what fits your next door neighbor. Don't jog a
10-km distance if you haven't done so for years.
Express your emotions
Recognize and share the pain. It's normal and properPut loss into perspective
to express your sorrow to a confidant or to a fewAny loss is painful. In fact, just losing a pen can be a
close friends and relatives who can relate. Cry if youbig hassle especially if your work requires writing.
feel doing so.However, if we try to redirect our pain and loss to
Accept that healing takes time. Any emotional paingiving, sharing, and loving, then the pain becomes a
that results from death requires days, weeks, orgain. Suddenly, the emotional pain enters a spiritual
even months to cure. Although majority of peopledimension never before experienced.
feel better after a few weeks, some remain sad forDr. Annette Colby says, "To share and expand love
several months. Don't feel bad if you don't recoverwith all life on this incredible earth, we begin with
as fast as others. It's not your fault. As you probablyourselves. We serve others when we become living,
know, people have different emotional make-up andbreathing, walking examples of inspired, excited lives. .
hence, have different recovery time. But time is your. The magic spreads as we become the magic."
ally. Gradually and surely, you will recover.Yes, one way to deal with a loss is to selflessly open
Don't feel guilty about the loss. I know that you'reourselves to others, and share the magic that lies
probably thinking what you should have or could havewithin us.
done while your loved one was still alive. But if you'veAlbert, thanks for your dedication and inspiration. So
tried to be normal and to be you all this time, youlong.
don't have anything to worry about. Your departed