| "We're lost but we're making good time." Yogi Berra | | | | from the last. They come in wild colors, different |
| As I walk through my painting studio on any given | | | | sizes, and almost always with rows and rows of |
| day I am sure to hear at least one plaintive cry of " I | | | | teeth. The first time they appeared she was highly |
| hate this painting because it doesn't make any sense!" | | | | agitated. " What are these???" she would ask me |
| or " I can't believe that I've spent so much time | | | | feeling distressed. "I've never seen anything like them |
| working on this absolutely meaningless painting!!" | | | | yet I am completely compelled to paint them!!" Were |
| There is an assumption when people first begin an | | | | they friendly or unfriendly? What were they doing? |
| intuitive painting practice that understanding what is | | | | Where were they going? What did they want? |
| happening in their painting is an important part of the | | | | It gave her tremendous energy to paint them. She |
| process. They think that the healing that is intrinsic to | | | | felt alive and on fire as they came out of her brush. |
| engaging with their creativity can only happen if they | | | | The messages that she was getting from the |
| are painting something that is clearly meaningful. It is | | | | painting were very straightforward. Paint some green |
| common and natural to want to know what | | | | teeth. Now it needs blue and purple squiggles going |
| something means as it shows up on the paper. We | | | | down it's back. Now it needs another eye. OK. Stop |
| are so much happier when we can figure things out, | | | | now. No more eyes. The painting was very clear in |
| when the path ahead is clearly marked, and when we | | | | terms of it's instructions about what to do next. The |
| can feel like we are moving towards some well | | | | only question that wasn't being answered was why |
| defined goal. | | | | they were there at all. Her mind was going nuts as |
| When we begin to paint we bring this desire for | | | | her paint brush continued to move. Her soul and spirit |
| clarity into our painting process. In our day to day | | | | were deeply engaged and completely satisfied. It |
| lives we like to think that we know what is going on, | | | | was her mind that kept jumping up and down, |
| but in actual fact we live steeped in a world of | | | | sputtering and outraged. |
| mystery. All of the most important questions in life | | | | When I get into conversations with my students |
| we have no answers to. Where do we come from? | | | | about the importance of letting go of meaning and |
| Who are we really? Why are we here? What | | | | things making sense they often want the |
| happens after we die? Why do we suffer? How can | | | | reassurance that if they just keep painting it will |
| we,with great enthusiasm, make the same mistakes, | | | | ultimately all come together. Right? If I just keep |
| over and over again? | | | | trusting the process I will eventually get to a place |
| We often cringe in the face of these unanswerable | | | | where this all becomes understandable. Well, the |
| questions and so we decide that we will only ask | | | | answer is, not necessarily. The point is not to get |
| questions that we can answer and we will only paint | | | | everything to always line up, but to learn to get |
| things that we already understand. As we move | | | | comfortable with being uncomfortable about being in |
| through the seasons of our life sometimes bad things | | | | the dark. We long for a life where the way before |
| happen. And sometimes we face difficulties that | | | | us is at all times plainly visible and free of doubt, but |
| seem like more than we can bear. And other times | | | | we live in a world of light AND dark and on the road |
| we are blessed, for no apparent reason, with love | | | | to meaning and clarity we often have to go through |
| and good fortune, and all we can do is stand there, | | | | long patches of chaos, confusion and the feeling of |
| open mouthed in amazement. | | | | being lost. |
| The real truth of it is that we are not in control of | | | | So what do you do during those times when you |
| our lives much more that we ever want to admit. | | | | don't know where you are or where you are going? |
| The need to make sense of things and to have | | | | When you don't have any external guideposts, no |
| definition and assuredness is a function of the ego | | | | clear direction and no destination? Well one thing you |
| and the mind. This is the realm of the day world, the | | | | can do is to paint. And allow whatever wants to |
| land of lucidity and light. This is the place that is ruled | | | | come into your painting just be there even if you |
| by plans and goals, reason and productivity. This is | | | | don't quite get it. On a piece of paper with a few |
| the world in which we have the illusion that we are in | | | | colors and the crazy contents of our heart and mind |
| control. | | | | you get to practice just being with what you don't |
| The heart and soul are more at home in the | | | | grasp and can't comprehend. |
| uncharted realm of the night and the intuitive painting | | | | A pink cat shows up in the middle of a landscape |
| process is an invitation into the night world. This is | | | | that a moment ago was filled with darkness and |
| the world of the dreamtime, the realm of what is | | | | despair? So be it! A cow wants to come in under a |
| hidden and unknown. It is the secret and invisible land | | | | chair? Let it happen! You find that you have an |
| of pure energy that lies behind our daily mundane | | | | absolutely overwhelming desire to start painting |
| experience and the shadowy and often perplexing | | | | green dots in every corner of the painting for no |
| domain of the unconscious. The night world is by | | | | apparent reason? Why not! Painting in this way is an |
| definition confusing because we literally cannot see. | | | | opportunity to learn to openheartedly listen to your |
| And to navigate well in the realm of the night we | | | | intuitive voice and to embrace the courage necessary |
| need to be willing to give up our our need to explain | | | | to face the exhilaration and terror of the unknown in |
| everything in terms of what is reasonable or rational. | | | | a spirit of curiosity and compassion. |
| The intuitive painting process is a practice of | | | | If we try to stay open to what is showing up as we |
| surrender to the energy of creativity, much like a | | | | paint, even if it makes no logical sense, we discover |
| shamanic practice. There is a transformative power | | | | something interesting. We discover that even when |
| that gets released in the act of painting when we | | | | we are blind, bewildered and wandering around in |
| can allow ourselves to open to the painting itself as a | | | | circles that in reality we are doing just fine. We feel |
| living thing. We are afraid to drop down into that | | | | so frightened when we don't understand what is |
| realm of unadulterated energy because it doesn't | | | | happening because we think that everything is |
| always make logical, rational sense. It doesn't make | | | | always up to us. We forget that we can trust in life |
| sense that standing in front of a piece of paper and | | | | and in spirit and in the great workings of the universe |
| simply engaging with images, forms and colors can | | | | around us and in us. We forget that no matter what |
| make any difference in your life at all. But this | | | | the external circumstances we are always being held |
| process will change you. It will wake you up and call | | | | in the palm of god's hand. We find that there is a |
| you towards what is sacred and mysterious and alive. | | | | place in our hearts where we can rest in the |
| If we really allow ourselves to be led by the painting | | | | mystery, be intrigued and energized by the mystery, |
| process we will be confronted with all kinds of things | | | | and be in wonderment. And we find that there is |
| that we don't understand. One of my students often | | | | something deeply healing in and of itself by simply |
| finds herself painting these long snouted, many eyed | | | | allowing ourselves to sit in the experience of not |
| creatures that are sleek and dolphin like.They keep | | | | knowing in an attitude of trust and surrender. |
| showing up in her paintings and each one is different | | | | |