| The understanding, definition and perception of | | | | how to cope with those feelings. The most important |
| spirituality is subjective. Many will engage in the | | | | step is the first; understanding and validation. Children |
| continuing development of a personal understanding | | | | who are understood and validated are more likely to |
| of spirituality. The understanding of spirituality often | | | | have healthy self-esteem that helps them cope with |
| involves a sense of a deeper self, or spirit and how | | | | their feelings. Children raised with this type of |
| we relate to other beings, nature and life. Spirituality | | | | understanding will have natural emotional awareness. |
| is often perceived as a search for inner peace and as | | | | Many people have been taught to suppress and deny |
| important for personal well being. Having a spiritual | | | | their emotions. Adults who threaten children with a |
| practice is associated with positive mental health, | | | | phrase such as, "if you cry, I'll give you something to |
| improved relationships, part of managing addictive | | | | cry about," or who call their children, "baby" when |
| behaviors and positive coping skills. | | | | they cry, are teaching children to suppress their |
| Awareness has also been associated with improved | | | | emotions. Unfortunately, suppressed emotions do not |
| relationships, mental health, managing addictive | | | | go away. If children live in a situation in which they |
| behaviors and positive coping skills. When we are | | | | will be punished for exhibiting emotions, they will, |
| aware of our thoughts and feelings, we are much | | | | most likely, displace those unexpressed emotions |
| more able to cope with them well. Indeed, some | | | | toward other children or animals. Children who are |
| people believe that awareness is our salvation. To be | | | | shamed, criticized or punished for exhibiting emotions |
| spiritual one must also be self aware. | | | | often develop emotion suppressing habits. The |
| Learning to be aware can begin with physical | | | | behavioral habits they develop include displacing their |
| sensations. We are often unaware of physical | | | | feelings onto other people, aggression, anxiety, |
| sensations until we feel pain. When we practice | | | | depression, using drugs, alcohol, and many other |
| physical awareness, we can become more aware of | | | | problems. Adults who have grown up doing this have |
| slight discomforts before they become pain. The | | | | many difficulties. |
| Alexander technique, yoga, karate, dance, sports all | | | | It is possible for adults, who were raised to suppress |
| can help us increase our physical awareness. | | | | or deny their emotions, to change. Many people have |
| Emotional awareness is vital to spirituality. When we | | | | found therapy helpful. Another route one can follow |
| know what we are feeling and understand the | | | | is to read self-help books. Those books that are |
| message a feeling is giving us, we can use the | | | | listed on the New York Times best seller list are |
| information well. All our emotions give us information | | | | usually good. |
| and we need all of them, even those that are | | | | Practicing self-awareness through meditative |
| difficult to feel. Those emotions that are difficult to | | | | techniques can help us become aware of how we |
| feel need to be recognized and heard, as much as | | | | are thinking and what we are feeling. What we say |
| pleasant emotions. Emotions that are denied or | | | | to ourselves (how we think) about a feeling can |
| suppressed often become twisted into another form | | | | either perpetuate or ease the feeling. Often the best |
| of behavior. When a feeling is felt, understood and | | | | way to begin to improve self-awareness is through |
| safely expressed it will dissipate as if it were a cloud. | | | | physical strategies, such as yoga. As we improve |
| Many people have difficulty knowing their emotions. | | | | physical self-awareness we begin to improve |
| Sometimes this is due to a lack of early childhood | | | | awareness of our thoughts and emotions. It is |
| education. Those who are unaware will either act out | | | | important to understand the value of all emotions for |
| of their emotions, or suppress and deny their | | | | improved emotional awareness. That does not mean |
| emotions. | | | | that it is acceptable to act out of the difficult |
| Most of us have heard the term "acting out." It is | | | | emotions. It means that as we recognize and |
| often used to describe a child, or someone exhibiting | | | | understand our own emotions, we will be better able |
| behaviors that result in people feeling frightened or | | | | to cope with and communicate them to others. It is |
| defensive. Those behaviors are usually the result of | | | | through awareness of our own emotions that we are |
| the person feeling angry or afraid or both. Young | | | | able to be aware of the emotions of others. Through |
| children can be taught to recognize their feelings and | | | | self-awareness we are able to follow the Golden |
| how to cope with them, during their formative years. | | | | Rule. Developing a habit of emotional awareness is |
| When children are taught that all their feelings are | | | | part of practicing spirituality. |
| understandable and valid, they are also able to learn | | | | |