| The accusation, "you are too sensitive" is often a | | | | The accusation, "you are too sensitive" is often a |
| defensive statement made by the accuser, who has | | | | defensive statement made by the accuser, who has |
| usually done something that is hurtful to the person | | | | usually done something that is hurtful to the person |
| accused of being "too sensitive." Sometimes the | | | | accused of being "too sensitive." Sometimes the |
| accuser has hurt this person inadvertently, | | | | accuser has hurt this person inadvertently, |
| sometimes deliberately, and most often the reasons | | | | sometimes deliberately, and most often the reasons |
| are complex. Whatever the reason for the original | | | | are complex. Whatever the reason for the original |
| hurt, it is incumbent on any person who hurts | | | | hurt, it is incumbent on any person who hurts |
| another to apologize. If that person cannot recognize | | | | another to apologize. If that person cannot recognize |
| that their behavior was hurtful, the person who has | | | | that their behavior was hurtful, the person who has |
| been hurt may need to detach from the relationship. | | | | been hurt may need to detach from the relationship. |
| A person who uses many hurtful behaviors, that | | | | A person who uses many hurtful behaviors, that |
| remain unresolved, cannot be a safe person to have | | | | remain unresolved, cannot be a safe person to have |
| a relationship with. We are all human and make | | | | a relationship with. We are all human and make |
| mistakes. Apologies help rectify mistakes. | | | | mistakes. Apologies help rectify mistakes. |
| Unfortunately, many people have difficulty owning | | | | Unfortunately, many people have difficulty owning |
| and admitting their mistakes. | | | | and admitting their mistakes. |
| For instance, if an individual was beaten when he/she | | | | For instance, if an individual was beaten when he/she |
| was a child, he/she will often do the same to his/her | | | | was a child, he/she will often do the same to his/her |
| children. Abuse often begets abuse. This is not | | | | children. Abuse often begets abuse. This is not |
| always true, for there have been many people who | | | | always true, for there have been many people who |
| decided that their parents were wrong for beating | | | | decided that their parents were wrong for beating |
| them and they raised their own children without | | | | them and they raised their own children without |
| beating them. However, many people who were | | | | beating them. However, many people who were |
| beaten have also been brainwashed into believing | | | | beaten have also been brainwashed into believing |
| that they deserved the beatings. It would be difficult | | | | that they deserved the beatings. It would be difficult |
| for a person who genuinely believes he/she deserved | | | | for a person who genuinely believes he/she deserved |
| being beaten to change how he/she parents his/her | | | | being beaten to change how he/she parents his/her |
| own children. People who genuinely believe that they | | | | own children. People who genuinely believe that they |
| are not doing anything wrong are unable to make | | | | are not doing anything wrong are unable to make |
| amends for their actions. That does not mean they | | | | amends for their actions. That does not mean they |
| have done nothing wrong. | | | | have done nothing wrong. |
| Many people who were raised (through abusive | | | | Many people who were raised (through abusive |
| parenting and brainwashing) to believe that authority | | | | parenting and brainwashing) to believe that authority |
| figures do not make mistakes will often become an | | | | figures do not make mistakes will often become an |
| authority figure to prevent themselves from | | | | authority figure to prevent themselves from |
| recognizing their own fallibility. Often, their | | | | recognizing their own fallibility. Often, their |
| self-esteem is too fragile to accept that they are | | | | self-esteem is too fragile to accept that they are |
| fallible. Some people have been raised to believe that | | | | fallible. Some people have been raised to believe that |
| being fallible is a sign of weakness. That would make | | | | being fallible is a sign of weakness. That would make |
| it more difficult for them to recognize and apologize | | | | it more difficult for them to recognize and apologize |
| for their mistakes. So, they blame the person they | | | | for their mistakes. So, they blame the person they |
| hurt by telling them "You're too sensitive." | | | | hurt by telling them "You're too sensitive." |
| This accusation has become a part of everyday | | | | This accusation has become a part of everyday |
| thinking for many people. People who are less than | | | | thinking for many people. People who are less than |
| self-aware will often use this phrase. Usually, it is used | | | | self-aware will often use this phrase. Usually, it is used |
| reflexively, without thinking. Unfortunately, it can | | | | reflexively, without thinking. Unfortunately, it can |
| become casual victim blame. Those who have not | | | | become casual victim blame. Those who have not |
| had a chance to think through this accusation often | | | | had a chance to think through this accusation often |
| accept that they are indeed "too sensitive." | | | | accept that they are indeed "too sensitive." |
| Recently, the mental health field has been designing | | | | Recently, the mental health field has been designing |
| sensitivity raising programs, to help those who are | | | | sensitivity raising programs, to help those who are |
| aggressive become more aware that they are being | | | | aggressive become more aware that they are being |
| "under sensitive." The phrase "under sensitive", clearly | | | | "under sensitive." The phrase "under sensitive", clearly |
| the opposite of "over sensitive" has not yet become | | | | the opposite of "over sensitive" has not yet become |
| part of everyday thinking. However, it is a phrase, | | | | part of everyday thinking. However, it is a phrase, |
| which makes sense. If there is such a thing as "too | | | | which makes sense. If there is such a thing as "too |
| sensitive" the opposite, "under sensitive" must also | | | | sensitive" the opposite, "under sensitive" must also |
| be true. | | | | be true. |
| For the mental health of society to continue its | | | | For the mental health of society to continue its |
| improvement, every capable individual must learn how | | | | improvement, every capable individual must learn how |
| to examine his/her own behaviors, thoughts and | | | | to examine his/her own behaviors, thoughts and |
| feelings. Every individual needs to question himself | | | | feelings. Every individual needs to question himself |
| herself, "is that person really being too sensitive or | | | | herself, "is that person really being too sensitive or |
| am I not being sensitive enough?" And if the answer | | | | am I not being sensitive enough?" And if the answer |
| is, "maybe I am not being sensitive enough," then the | | | | is, "maybe I am not being sensitive enough," then the |
| individual can take steps to make amends and | | | | individual can take steps to make amends and |
| retribution. That is a vital part of relationships and of | | | | retribution. That is a vital part of relationships and of |
| living cooperatively on this earth. It is one of those | | | | living cooperatively on this earth. It is one of those |
| lessons we learn in kindergarten. | | | | lessons we learn in kindergarten. |
| "You Are Too Sensitive" | | | | |