Understanding Play Therapy

This past week there was another one of thosethemselves and watch and learn how these toys
awful stories in the news, the ones that make your"handle them". Whatever is on the child's mind usually
eyes well with tears. This time it was a young boycomes out naturally in their play. It is typical in the
who witnessed his mother's death. All he could saybeginning of play therapy that the child's toys are
when questioned was Mommy's crying, Mommy's inscared, unsure, usually defeated by some type of
the rug, his verbal abilities and understanding of themonster. But as the sessions progress, these same
world still quite limited. I don't know all of the detailstoys end up winning battles, overcoming adversity,
of the case, what if anything he truly did see, but itand have a confidence they did not have previously.
is pretty clear that this young person has certainlyPart of a play therapist's training involves tracking
had a traumatic experience.play, watching for themes, and voicing toys in order
Our culture, like so many others, values children ato elicit a response from another toy. These
great deal. As adults we know very well the dangertechniques allow us to learn more about the meaning
out there, we watch the 6 o'clock news and readbehind the play. If in a child's play a giant dinosaur is
the headlines. We go through our day attempting towalking through a Lego town and a doll is hiding
meet the demands of the world, mostly stressed,behind a tree, a play therapist may ask, "What is the
maybe anxious, probably tired. Children have yet todoll feeling?" The child, without even realizing it, is
enter this grown-up world, they want to play, havegiving you clues to what he or she is experiencing. In
snacks, and watch Dora the Explorer. Us adultsaddition, the therapist can ask, "what can the doll do
usually do every thing we can to shield them from itto be less afraid?" stimulating the child to think of
because we know the innocence of childhood will notother ways to respond to their fears. The therapist
last forever. So it comes as no surprise that much ofcan also play with the child while still allowing them to
the water cooler conversations these past few daysdrive the process. For example, if the therapist is the
have been about this little boy. I have heard thingsdinosaur she may whisper to the child, "what is this
like "he needs some therapy", "if he doesn't addressdinosaur saying to everyone?" allowing the child to
this it's going to come back to haunt him years later"guide both the fearful doll and the scary monster.
or "how will he ever get over this?"Through the course of the play therapy experience,
As a child therapist who has worked with manythe child may build and rebuild this Lego city. The
children who have experienced trauma, I coulddifference being that each time the characters will
confidently say that, thanks to play therapy, this tooact a little differently. The doll may slowly come out
is manageable. Just like adults talk things out afterfrom behind the tree, speak to the dinosaur and ask
going through something terrifying and traumatizing,him to go away, or realize that he is not so scary
children play through their feelings and reactions. Thisafter all. The dinosaur may choose another path or
natural inclination of children to play out the thingsmake friends with the doll. This resolution and learning
that are happening around them is their way ofis then integrated into the child's knowledge base.
trying to make sense of their world. To them theyThe young boy in the news story mentioned above
are merely playing and because of this it feels safewill obviously always remember this horrible tragedy
and comfortable. Actually, over-talking aboutand miss his mother terribly, but by engaging in play
traumatizing events can cause more anxiety, puttingtherapy he can process what has happened and learn
children on the spot and making the event eventhe necessary coping skills to have a well-adjusted
bigger and scarier. It is through playing that childrenlife.
have a real chance to make sense of what is goingIf you feel your child may be suffering from a
on, and most importantly, resolve unconscioustraumatic experience or causing you any concern you
conflicts. Playing gives them a sense of detachmentmay want to consider a play therapist. Children can
from which to explore and deal with their feelings.enter play therapy for a variety of reasons including
During play therapy children use one of their bestdepression, anxiety, behavior problems, school and
gifts, their imagination. A play therapists office is fullpeer concerns, social anxiety, and defiance among
of a variety of toys that children can choose at theirmany others. If you are unsure if your child may
will. The very choice of toys begins the play therapyhave a mental health concern or you need help
experience. Children can act out different scenarios,determining if therapy would be beneficial you can
try on several different solutions or outcomes,ask me a question on my website. I am a licensed
practice ways to resolve conflicts and cope withMarriage and Family Therapist in Philadelphia, Pa in
distressing material. They can put scary, hiddenprivate practice and have been working with children,
feelings and fears onto objects outside offamilies and individuals for over 10 years.