| Many people feel disturbed by the idea of change. | | | | remaining relaxed and presenting our perspective in a |
| However change is the most consistent aspect of | | | | calm, clear manner. |
| life. Change can be difficult, easy, tumultuous, simple, | | | | (3) To increase creative thinking: When we allow |
| large, small etc. etc. We change in our sleep without | | | | change to occur we must think of what we can do |
| knowing it. Experience changes us, often without our | | | | to adapt to the change. This increases our ability to |
| being aware of it. | | | | solve problems creatively. The ability to use our |
| If things did not change, where would we be, how | | | | creative power to solve problems increases our ability |
| would the first human beings have ever learned to | | | | to enjoy changes. It's a positive cycle! |
| walk? We would be nowhere. Life would not be if it | | | | (4) To reduce restrictive perfectionism: Perfectionism |
| were not for change. Change does not automatically | | | | makes it more difficult to enjoy changes. |
| equate with loss. It often brings improvement. Most | | | | Perfectionistic thinking is often the result of a deep, |
| often something has to be lost in order to bring | | | | sometimes unconscious, need to please others and |
| improvement. | | | | an inability to accept mistakes. Mistakes are our |
| Many changes occur without our awareness, without | | | | teachers. Too many people have been raised to |
| our choosing the change. A baby does not choose to | | | | believe that mistakes are a "bad" thing. They are not. |
| be born. Why would any of us choose to give up the | | | | Mistakes are simply another opportunity to learn. |
| safe, warm environment of the womb where we | | | | Perfectionistic thinking is an integral part of today's |
| have to do nothing to take care of ourselves? Being | | | | school and work culture. School's and workplaces |
| born is not a change we choose, nature forces it on | | | | have many rules and regulations that students and |
| us. And gradually we become independent and learn | | | | employees are expected to follow. Many of those |
| how to take care of ourselves. Gradually we begin to | | | | rules/regulations do not allow for differences in |
| enjoy that change. | | | | individuals. When individual differences are restricted, |
| (1) To increase control in our lives: Some of the most | | | | creative thinking is restricted. Creative thinking is a |
| difficult changes are those we make deliberately. | | | | vital aspect of adjustment to change. Believing that |
| More often than not we must leave a place, literally | | | | something can be "perfect" is limiting. When we |
| or figuratively, in which we feel comfortable in order | | | | recognize the value of "good enough" we can relax |
| to make important changes. Sometimes we feel | | | | and move on throughout life's changes. |
| anxious about making changes because we're afraid | | | | (5) To increase flexibility: When we allow changes to |
| of the unknown. Many of us try to stay the same | | | | occur and learn how to adapt, we become more |
| because we don't want to feel afraid or | | | | flexible. An increase of flexible thinking results in our |
| uncomfortable. However, change will sneak up on us | | | | perceiving more options. Perceiving more options |
| anyway. No matter how hard we try to keep things | | | | gives us more choices and more control over the |
| the same, they will change. If we are able to | | | | process of changes throughout our lives. |
| consciously participate in changes, we have more | | | | (6) To increase our ability to let go and grieve our |
| power to influence the changes in a direction we | | | | losses: Death is part of life. American culture tends to |
| prefer. | | | | avoid thinking or talking about the inevitability of |
| (2) To reduce stress: It can be helpful to change the | | | | death. And death is inevitable. Accepting the |
| way we think about change. If we can learn not to | | | | inevitability of death increases our ability to be in the |
| judge changes as being "good" or "bad" it is easier to | | | | moment. When we fully accept that we could be |
| accept them. If we judge a change as being "bad" | | | | dead in the next minuet, we are much more able to |
| the negative feelings we have as a result of that | | | | enjoy this minute. Grieving our losses is a vital part of |
| judgment will cause us to resist that change | | | | being healthy. One of my favorite books is called |
| vehemently. Doing this results in our feeling stressed. | | | | "Good Grief" by Lolly Winston. The title itself says so |
| By changing how we think about changes, ("Well, | | | | much! We need to be able to grieve our losses fully. |
| maybe its not as bad as I thought. ") we can reduce | | | | As we do this we learn how to let go. Letting go is |
| our stress level. When we've reduced our stress, our | | | | about allowing and embracing change. |
| thinking can improve and we will be able to think of | | | | Accepting change is accepting our vulnerability. As |
| ways to adapt to and influence the changes. When | | | | Madeleine L'Engle wrote, "to grow up is to accept |
| changes occur that we believe are not the best, we | | | | vulnerability. To be alive is to be vulnerable. |
| can increase our ability to influence others by | | | | |